Loving someone means that you care for them, you think about them and always want them to be happy; always being there for them.
However, as much as you may truly love that person, or how much you think, feel and care for them, it is sometimes that the feelings aren't the same, or they change because something happens.
Now, the only thing left for you is to pick up your broken pieces and slowly, at your own pace get back on track.
Recently, I've let go of something so so so important and frankly, it was the hardest thing to do, but it most definitely is the only thing I can do to try and get on with things.
"Tomorrow is a new day".
The phrase I tell myself most days, and I suppose to a certain extent, it is true; but yet sometimes it still feels like I'm in a rut, stuck in a cycle of being down and dulled by the world and its darkest of demons.
I think as time has gone on this year I've established a few things I never thought I would have to contemplate. And to be completely honest, it has been so hard. I went from being unbelievably happy, to nothing and repeating over and over with the same bad luck and urghiness.
What I failed to understand was that it wasn't my fault. In fact, it wasn't anyones in particular, just what happens to be life.
You see, one minute you can be on top of the world with all the happiness created, and then the next, that happiness disappears and you find yourself back to square one.
The scariest thing is that you feel so alone and like you're the only one who is going through it all and everything is on top of you and no one understands etc, etc.. but you aren't at all.
You can feel like that, but I assure you, everything and everyone around you is there to help.
I have spent weeks trying to figure things out, things that I had no idea about, or where to begin. There's been things I had no control over, and those with some control. And most of the time, these things.. be it sometimes that they are broken, aren't worth stressing out about, what is meant to be, will be.
Lots of things happen, and they happen so quickly you kinda have to let them. And yes, some people handle such changes brilliantly, whereas others, others can struggle and I am not ashamed to say I am one of those people.
It is hard and I am trying, kinda just need help.
I am the type of person who has so much emotion, and I put it into anything that means something to me; helpful, yet the worst thing ever.. leading to so much heartbreak and upset at times. But I wouldn't be the same without that trait. It is just hard to deal with I suppose.
In light of all this, I wanted to reach out to anyone feeling the same, whether it be because you're moving away for uni, you've left a relationship, or simply because a change is happening and it's all just bit of a struggle.
A good friend once said to me that no matter where you are, if you just look up into the night sky and choose a star, concentrate on that one star for a few moments, watching it twinkle in the darkness, then look around it and realise all the stars are together in the darkness, guiding along the same path.
So no matter where you are, or what pressure that's on your shoulders is; alongside the upset you might feel, there's so many others willing to help you, it's just down to you to let them in and help.
I will ALWAYS be there for anyone who needs help, even though a struggle and I still am now, I will never close a door to anyone, and it just takes a smile to help someone know they aren't alone.
"OWNING YOUR STORY IS THE BRAVEST THING YOU CAN DO"
- Brene Brown.
Love Megan
x x x x
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