It all started, turning 19. Yes my year of first time boozing an boogieing seemed all a mist under dark skies and bangs from the NYE parties around me.
I remember, me and my friend stumbling into my house, kebab in hand laughing and joking at the nights events and the fact that a new year had begun. Not a single care in the world. Everything was utterly perfect and I could not wait to start the journey of making memories.
Even waking up with a hangover and my eyelashes muddled in my hair. Everything was perfect.
Unfortunately didn't stay that way. As usual things happen, they change and it somehow meant that everything that was okay - just wasn't okay.
Having everything a girl could want, to having nothing was something that I really struggled with. I think I spent some much time being clouded by things that were material, but my glazed outlook told me it wasn't material. It was real. Unfortunately, no material things last forever; and I suppose I learnt this the hard way.
I think the turning point was that very moment. Everything just flipped onto another side that I was so unfamiliar with and it in a sense, changed how I was and who I am now.You see most people get moulded by the issues they face and the struggles they battles against, but I feel like I have just done the exact opposite. I don't feel like anything has shaped me, or shown me realisation - NO. I think In a way I no longer expect the easier things and I just feel like the entire world is against me.
When time went on, some glimmer of light did shine through and I began to open my eyes to the fact that things in someways do get easier and you do start to love yourself again, this helped being that I found someone who truly made me see this. And being in the position I was prior, everything became so much brighter.
The hardest thing, is that this person still struggles to see it in themselves that they are the one who changed my world, and gives me a reason to smile. In time, I work towards making you realise that, making you see how I value you, your being and company. I love you unbelievable amounts and I just want to spend even more moments with you.
Anyhow....
Moving on, and not making this entire post about the love of my life, and the sop of a fulfilled heart, I take the time to reflect on the year of 2018.
Never did I think at 19, I would face some of the hurdles I have, particularly in the ways at which I have, and in a sense, they have shown me a different way or path of living.
Having friends surrounding me who are so supportive and caring means the entire world and to this very day not a single one of them has let me down, or never not been there.
I cannot thank them enough for the help they have given, and the memories they have helped create and share.
- from pool parties in magalluf, to diving in garden bushes after nights out, they are truly the most wonderful set of people a girl could ask for.
Then there is my family, and what a unit of support and love they are to me. Without them I doubt I would be sat here writing this now.
Ive made some difficult decisions and been through some tough times this year but each time I have had nothing but love, and support.
2019 will be my year to be happy, and to find me again.
Thankyou to everyone.
To my family. My parents, My siblings and their partners.
To my work colleagues and friends.
To Lucy.
To Georgina.
To Bekah.
To Casey.
To Maisie.
To Joseph <3.
to you all and everyone else in my life; Thankyou. You are my world and everything. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Happy New year, here's to 2019.
Megan x x x
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