So it's July! And yet I have again failed to keep you updated, or keep posting regularly - which is very bad. I suppose with A S exams going on, heaps of revision, and a very regrettable 'situation', I just haven't been in the right frame of mind to sit down and form a meaningful post that is something I want to put on here for you all to read.

However, it's got to a stage where I don't think it's worth stressing about all the issues, or dwell on the things that have upset me, but instead to just be happy, and change how I look at things so that they aren't negatives anymore - but positives! It's not easy to do, but I've found that by making little changes and tiny steps forward, the difficult moments are fading away, and my confidence is growing. 

I think looking back over the last few months, I can tell I haven't been myself - I know why and but this issue is no longer relevant and to be honest I'd rather not go back there ever again, because I was so wrapped up in something that become broken and took me to a very low place, but I'm finally back, and I'm in a very happy place. 

  

It's a shame really, when you get yourself so wound up in the bad, negative things that you miss a long period of time when you could be happy and getting on with every day life, that's why I'm so glad I came back on the other side. However, in no means was I ever really low or depressed to put it in other terms, I was just finding it hard to balance things around me and it all seemed to be closing in. Maybe it was my exams? Maybe it was the situation I was in at the time? All I know is it was very hard to get through.

I'm not writing this post to ask for sympathy or anything of the sort I just wanted to almost make a sort of diary entry because it's been so long since I posted or even let myself see how there's always a way out of situations that may be dragging you down. I want to mark this as a new beginning in not only my blog, but how I think about things everyday. I mean there's no need to be down all the time, or look negatively. 

It's key to keep your friends close, and live every moment to the fullest it can be. To be honest I don't think I would have been able to manage stress and everything else if it wasn't for my friends, they are super important - super supportive and understanding of everything I'd be lost without them.

 - love you guys! 

So that's it, that marks the start of new things, and who knows, you might find more posts on here now! Thanks for being so patient and thanks as always for reading, 

Talk soon - Love Megan xx

coming back with new plans.

After taking a really long break from the blogging scene, I've realised how much I've missed it. I didn't stop posting because I don't like blogging anymore, I stopped because I felt like I needed to focus on other things, but now it's time to come back.

One of the main reasons I was lacking in posts was because I started Sixth Form and A S Levels, and the idea of revision, and blogging regularly kinda scared me a little, and because I'd stopped posting, I felt worried to start again. I don't really know why it did to be honest, because after my GCSE's I thought could cope with pressure of focusing on more than one thing at a time, but clearly I was completely wrong.

The stress exams cause is actually ridiculous, I mean now, my whole career path depends on 100% exam, a scary thought I'd rather not think about at the minute, but soon I'm going to have to realise it, I sorta feel like at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what's inside that brown envelope in August, it's all about what I put into succeeding that matters. There is a plus side to going to sixth form though, I mean, I've learnt things I never thought I would even talk about, I've learnt that those who seem close to you, can fade out of life within a matter of seconds, and also that you're closest friends have your back no matter what - to be quite honest, I think that's the only thing which keeps me going, particularly when my planner is filled with homework (due for the next day!) Oh and there's the 50% discount on spotify! another bonus of being involved in the hardest thing that life will throw at you, well that's apparently what A levels are anyway...

However, there are so many more downsides to choosing A-levels; like the lack of free time, having to explain why you look terrible everyday because you got no sleep the night before, or that you're bored of learning about the latest topic. Then there's having no money, because all you seem to buy is ring binders and plastic wallets, then on top of that, you start talking about work even when your out with friends. It's all the small things really that impact how difficult you find it.

   But

I suppose, doing it this way, you become a wiser person, more accepting of concepts around the world, maybe of things you've never even heard of, so although it's a tough choice I'm so glad I took on the challenge - even if I have mock exams next week. 

Going back to my poor blogging rate last year, I would like to say I am sorry. With almost 5,000 views, you would think that I would make sure that I stuck at this blogging thing even if I had a little more work to do, but clearly I fell at the very first hurdle. But as it says in the title of this post, a new plan means we won't be going back to that ever again. 

So, from now on, I'm not going to be forcing myself to write about things that I have a lack of interest in, or just posting because I need to put something in here. I'm going to be posting things because I've took time to talk about things I care about, and I'm going to make an effort to post things regularly, but if I have nothing to talk about then I just won't. I think it's best to stop promising what could be and instead focus on what is actually going to happen. 

So let's see what happens, but just a huge thanks for sticking with me the last few months and hopefully you'll understand why I've been missing. 

See you soon, Love Megan

x